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It s easier of course to have hard line rules exes are never ok versus exes are totally fine but that s not the world we live in. If they choose to share details with you that s fine you don t need to stick your fingers in your ears unless an overt comparison is being made see no. They wholeheartedly believe that it s wrong disrespectful and if a friend did that to them they d never talk to that person again. Whether you re gay straight bi or not into labels dating a friend s ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.

The reverse is also true no matter how much you love discussing your dude with your besties his ex can probably live without hearing the details of his current sex life friend starts dating your ex. If you re gay you will almost inevitably date a friend s ex at some point. It s common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well however your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush. Queer communities are often small and insular and once you ve found one you tend to hold on to it for dear life.

This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you ll find a sympathetic ear. It s difficult to meet people you re romantically interested in beyond an already defined circle and outside of your city s queer scene most people you run into are likely to be straight. If you don t want to lose your friend you have to find ways to deal with your friend dating your ex.
We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.


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